| ...take heart, sweetheart or i will take it from you... |
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| Holy shit batman...and update. |
[17 Apr 2008|12:58pm] |
Only because I am going to say this once and ONLY once:
I. AM. DONE. WITH. NATE.
Let's just say he managed to top his assholery. I don't think there's any words to describe what kind of a person he is.
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| This must be it. Welcome to the New Year... |
[31 Dec 2007|01:00pm] |
Another year is over. I started off the year promising, as I do every year, to make it my year to be happy. How has that worked out for me? I'm left bitter, lonely, and pissed off. For your safety (and because I'm likely to be emo), here's my year behind an oh-so-nice cut.
( Amanda's 2007 )
Well that brings me up to current times. I'm home and more pissed off than ever. I hate it here and just want this vacation to be over with so I can permanently move to the Midwest. This house isn't home. I'm lonely, but that's looking like it might change. Either way, my New Year's Eve is gonna suck. I wouldn't be a true emo kid unless I left you with some song lyrics. Here's my theme for next year:
Well, I'm still searching. Look for an entry coming soon.
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[13 Oct 2007|12:27pm] |
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I am seriously going to invent a keyboard that you have to take a breathalyzer to use. Then I will force myself to use it. That is all.
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| meme, 'cause i want to procrastinate |
[17 Sep 2007|09:29pm] |
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
1. open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, et cetera).
2. put it on shuffle.
3. press play.
4. for every question type the song that's playing.
5. when you go to a new question press the next button.
ready? GO!
Title - Artist
Opening credits: Mae - This Is The Last Time
First Date: Alanis Morrisette - Sympathetic Character
Falling In Love: Hawk Nelson - Hello
Love Scene: Him - Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart
Fight Scene: Pink - Long Way To Happy
Breaking Up: The Shins - Saint Simon
Making Up: The Distillers - Lordy Lordy
Secret Love: Switchfoot -Politicians
Life's Okay: Hawk Nelson - Letters To The President
Mental Breakdown: P.O.D. - Set It Off
Driving: Kill Hannah - Raining All The Time
Learning A Lesson: Josh Kelley - Lover Come Up
Deep Thought: Goldfinger - Anything
Nostalgia: Hoku - Perfect Day
Flashback: Jack's Mannequin - We Were Meant For Each Other/You Can Breathe
Happy Dance: Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Zoot Suit Riot
Regretting: Barenaked Ladies - Call And Answer
Long Night Alone: Rent - I'll Cover You
Final Battle: Relient K - In Love With the 80s (Pink Tux To The Prom)
Death Scene: Wilco - Radio Cure
Closing Credits: Abandoned Pools - Suburban Muse
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| That Career Quiz Thingy |
[15 Sep 2007|11:03am] |
1. Human Resources Specialist
2. Career Counselor
3. Industrial-Organizational Psychologist
4. Management Consultant
5. Multimedia Developer
6. Addictions Counselor
7. Economic Development Officer
8. Genetic Counselor
9. Humanitarian Aid Worker
10. Sport Psychology Consultant
11. Website Designer
12. Psychologist
13. Lobbyist
14. Film Processor
15. Rehabilitation Counselor
( the rest )
Maybe I really am not meant to use my computer science degree after all! =)
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[23 Aug 2007|09:22am] |
I really, really hate these emotional rollercoaster rides.
Only 8 more days.
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[12 Aug 2007|12:49pm] |
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mood |
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 existing |
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Hi everyone.
I know my last post sounded kind of down and emo, but it's me, and I'm going through a tough time.
![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) enamorar: Coffee? Me, you, and Monica, 'cause I can't get a hold of her. I'm pretty much free every day after two, so let me know. We need to catch up. It's been too long. And thank you for the anecdote! It helps to know that I'm not the only person who's gone through this.
helkat: I love you too! I really appreciate the advice. After talking with Mark, I'm realizing that it is most likely the case that his love for me changed, even though I wasn't ready for it. I'm sure that in time, my love for him will change as well. Either way, I need to change something about myself just to keep him in my life, which is the most important thing.
Finally, I am starting a new journal, emofaith, over at wordpress. This is going to be the journal that I write about spirituality and things like that. I decided to make a new one, because I know not all of my friends will appreciate it. So read it if you would like.
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[05 Aug 2007|07:35am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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How do you let love go?
This is the part I'm having trouble with. I was talking to Mark last night and when I said goodnight, I wanted to say "I love you" because it is so natural for me, and I still love him very very much.
I realized then that I am not okay with this. I don't know how you're supposed to let someone go after they've given you so many wonderful memories. How do you let someone go that you would spend the rest of your life with in a heartbeat?
How do you let someone go that is so caring that on a day when no one else would say it, you wouldn't go to bed not hearing that you were loved?
I miss him so much. There is this huge hurting lump where my heart should be. And I don't like it.
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| I'm okay. |
[03 Aug 2007|02:42pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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My grandmother's funeral is now over.
I thought that after it would be done, I would feel worse than I did. Instead I am left with a sense of peace. My grandmother and her struggle with life was a large chapter in my life. It was exahausting, painful at times, but a part of my life that I wouldn't change if I had to. It's like that feeling of completion that you get when you finish a project or a paper you've been working on for a long time.
It's time for me to move on. My grandmother was one of the last things tying me to Texas, so now the decision to move to the Midwest is a much easier one.
And maybe Mark breaking up with me was a good thing. He was with me through the worst of it, and maybe that was too much for him. Maybe I need someone who can deal with the good and the bad with me.
Today has been surreal. But, I'm okay.
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| Hi |
[02 Aug 2007|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 unloved and lonely |
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Hi everyone.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
For a while I had a new blog but unfortunately, I can't bear to look at it anymore.
Mark and I are no longer Mark and I. And I wish I could say I was okay with that. But I'm not. Everytime I think I am, I think about what I lost. And then I break down.
I am currently in Arkansas for my grandmother's funeral. My grandmother passed away about 8 hours after Mark broke up with me.
I just wish I knew what I needed to do to be okay. I know that time wounds all heals heals all wounds, but I don't see it this time.
I am desperately in need of calls from friends. If you care and are willing to talk to me, please call me. 214-729-9509.
I do love you all. I think maybe I'll be okay.
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[06 Mar 2007|07:06pm] |
The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) | Personality | You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more idealist than cynical, more follower than leader, and more extroverted than introverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are adventurious (100%), romantic (100%), religious (90%), adventurous (80%). | | | Stereotypes | | Prep | 92% | | College Student | 88% | | Punk Rock | 87% | | | | Life Experience | | Sex | 35% | | Substances | 32% | | Travel | 41% | | Politics
Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 94% of the time. | | Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 95% less than the U.S. average.
| If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 85% of other test takers. | TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite
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| A prayer |
[14 Jan 2007|01:12pm] |
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music |
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Starfield//Everything is Beautiful |
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Something that Marty said in church today made so much sense to me. As such, there is a prayer that I want to make my "theme" for the year:
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that were are born to eternal life.
I pledge that this year will be my year of awakening, of realizing that I need to make major changes in my attitude and life, and to make them. I know that if I have faith in God, he will help me, and will give me greater happiness than anything else I have tried has given me.
Sorry for the church-y stuff, but I want to share this with my friends. I want you all to understand the kind of things that I am thinking about, and experiencing. The goal of all of this is to be a better person, the person God wants me to be, the person I know is waiting to come out.
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[11 Jan 2007|09:05pm] |
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There's nothing like post-Chocolate-Covered-Johnny-Depp Night euphoria!
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[01 Jan 2007|10:59pm] |
*sigh*
I'm tired of being so lonely. I mean, yes, I have the most AMAZING friends on the planet, but I need more. Unfortunately.
I wish I could be one of those girls who can survive without a guy. But I can't. No matter how hard I try, it always comes down to me being alone.
Sorry for the emo.
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[01 Jan 2007|12:50am] |
Happy New Year everyone!
Here's to hoping 2007 doesn't suck as bad as 2006 did...
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[30 Dec 2006|10:41am] |
In 2007, mobyisaninja resolves to... Go to the gay rights every month.
Pay for my dallas on time.
Backup my manga regularly.
Put fifty video games a month into my savings account.
Take evening classes in emo.
Tell my family about books.
I wasn't going to post it until I saw "Take evening classes in emo." at which point I proceeded to laugh my ass off.
Happy almost New Year's everyone!
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